EAP98
Mikyung Won
April 20, 2010
An important event that changed my life
What is the important event that changed in my life? I want to talk about my immigration, that is, the first to me lived in another country for the first time in my life and it was very weird for me. Many people have moved from their home country and migrated. Some reasons why people have migrated is one, they had a new work place, have a new house, or married with someone, but immigration is totally different for me. Because I had to adapt to American’s new cultures, learn a new language, and meet new people.
First, this new culture changed my thought in my life because the culture is so different between the American’s culture and Korean culture. For example, Korean people introduce first with first with people because when people meet their first meeting, they think that it is polite to introduce themselves, especially for adults. But, Americans don’t have a personal question because it is a thing of the privacy infringement. Most Korean like involve with others because Korean think relation is very important for their relationship. I think relation is best important to me than other thing too.
Second, words, I was going to learn a new language. It changed my life because I have used Korean language for over thirty years, so I couldn’t change my own language easily. When I came here for the first time, I couldn’t understand their language at all because they talked too fast. Also, it was difficult for me to distinguish my known words. Another reason is American’s grammar is different than my country. For example, my country’s grammar verb says always at the end. But English verb is always followed next the subject. That’s why it confused me a lot of times, and I made many mistakes, and it is hard to speak and learn. So, I spent time to learn English, but I am still not perfect.
Third, meeting new people has changed my life because I have grown up with Korean people most of my life so being introduced to all these new things, especially American people has changed my way of looking at certain things. I think because of meeting new people, I was able to change my thought. For example, American is very nice and kind for first meet person that is so a deeply impress to me and change me. I learned many good things from American’s. Meet is always hard to me, so I have to have brave. It changed me newly.
At last, after the immigration changed me a lot. I learned American’s culture, speak English a little, and not much worry meet the American than before. Also, I learned how to make my credit, how to go to trip myself, how to buy cheaper stuff, and how to answer that after the said “Hi?” I enjoying my changed life now and I will keep going my adventure. Until I have free English to say that and feel comfortable. It is going to be fun to me.
인사글
15 years ago
1. Is there a clear thesis at the end of the introduction?
ReplyDeleteYES
2. Does the thesis have a topic and controlling ideas?
YES
3. does the thesis address the essay topic well?
YES
4. are there at least two body paragraphs of 5 or more sentences?
YES
5. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence, and does the topic sentence clearly connect to the controlling ideas of the thesis?
YES
6. Can you easily find at least one major detail in each body paragraph? If not, please let the writer know where you are confused about the major detail.
YES I EASILY FIND THE MAJOR DETAIL
7. Does the writer EXPLAIN and GIVE EXAMPLES for each major detail, and do they help you understand the major detail better? If not, please let the writer know that he/she needs more detail. Also let the writer know if you think the details are not exactly relevant.
I THINK THAT THE DETAILS AS CLREAR
8. Are the details concrete, not too general? let the writer know if s/he needs to give more interesting, concrete details.
9. How is the conclusion--does it cover the main ideas and thesis in new words, and does it make a comment that really makes you think about the essay topic some more? Please be specific about your feedback, don't just say Yes or No.
YES
10. What do you like best about this essay? be specific.
I LIKE THE SIMPLICITY OF THE ESSAY I THIN THAT IT IS REALLY CLEAR AND EASY TO UNDERSTAND
1. Is there a clear thesis at the end of the introduction?
ReplyDeleteyes
2. Does the thesis have a topic and controlling ideas?
yes
3. does the thesis address the essay topic well?
yes
4. are there at least two body paragraphs of 5 or more sentences?
yes
5. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence, and does the topic sentence clearly connect to the controlling ideas of the thesis?
yes
6. Can you easily find at least one major detail in each body paragraph? If not, please let the writer know where you are confused about the major detail.
yes it is easy to find major detail
7. Does the writer EXPLAIN and GIVE EXAMPLES for each major detail, and do they help you understand the major detail better? If not, please let the writer know that he/she needs more detail. Also let the writer know if you think the details are not exactly relevant.
yes it is
8. Are the details concrete, not too general? let the writer know if s/he needs to give more interesting, concrete details.
9. How is the conclusion--does it cover the main ideas and thesis in new words, and does it make a comment that really makes you think about the essay topic some more? Please be specific about your feedback, don't just say Yes or No.
yes
10. What do you like best about this essay? be specific.
it is easy to understand and one of the clear essay.
1. Is there a clear thesis at the end of the introduction?
ReplyDeleteYES
2. Does the thesis have a topic and controlling ideas?
YEAH
3. does the thesis address the essay topic well?
OF COURSE
4. are there at least two body paragraphs of 5 or more sentences
yes
5. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence, and does the topic sentence clearly connect to the controlling ideas of the thesis?
yes
6. Can you easily find at least one major detail in each body paragraph? If not, please let the writer know where you are confused about the major detail.
no
7. Does the writer EXPLAIN and GIVE EXAMPLES for each major detail, and do they help you understand the major detail better? If not, please let the writer know that he/she needs more detail. Also let the writer know if you think the details are not exactly relevant.
should write some examples and explanation
8. Are the details concrete, not too general? let the writer know if s/he needs to give more interesting, concrete details.
it was kinda general
9. How is the conclusion--does it cover the main ideas and thesis in new words, and does it make a comment that really makes you think about the essay topic some more? Please be specific about your feedback, don't just say Yes or No.
no
10. What do you like best about this essay? be specific.
i liked the topic sentences